Bound by a Net of Stars

apple_ophelia @ 2009-12-06T00:19:00

2009-12-06T07:22:07Z

by my heart that confounds you,
I don't think I could leave you again

In two weeks, I'll be having Christmas with my family and my fiance.

What is WRONG with people?!

2009-12-05T20:33:19Z

Dear YouTue commenters,

Gibbons are not monkeys. They are apes.

Also, OMG NO YOU CANNOT RAISE THEM AS PETS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING?!

Someone actually asked how much gibbons cost and if they are hard to raise. D:

Yeah, they're pretty easy to raise until they grow up AND PULL YOUR ARMS OFF FOR BEING AN ASSHOLE.

Poor gibbons.

I did find some pretty adorable videos of babies at sanctuaries, being cared for properly. Little baby gibbons are so sweet.

apple_ophelia @ 2009-12-05T10:58:00

2009-12-05T18:01:29Z

You wanna see some adorable gibbons?

I THOUGHT SO.

ARSON! or, Redemption is Only a Matchbox Away

2009-12-02T05:34:38Z

I cannot explain,
and I will not be asked
how shivering candles
keep prayers intact,

but if one candle eases,
a bonfire saves,
and I haven't risen yet.

I wonder if "ARSON!" will be the best song I've written. I really hope not; not because it sucks but because I love it and want to do better. It wasn't the lyrics; it was the melody. I can do it again. I will.

That moment where all three harmonies come together in the last refrain on one line ("I haven't risen yet") still elates me. And when Nick tells me that new songs "will be the next 'Arson,'" I'm secretly proud.

I should be writing a huge, important paper. Instead, I'm daydreaming and writing new lyrics in my head. I wonder sometimes if i should have gone into music. Maybe it would have been good for me. But who would have accepted my odd, reedy voice or my awkward mandolin or my penchant to cram enormous meaning into two-minute songs? I'm better off on my own. It took me three years and endless resentment and jealousy to realize it, but I'm glad.

This is how I know Nick and I are intended for each other: he gave me the chance that no one else offered me: to write songs.

It looks stupid, written out like that, but that's it.

I still can't believe we gave that song that stupid joke name I made up. It was supposed to be Hymn of the Arsonist. Oh well. c:

Studyinnn

2009-11-15T03:46:28Z

Just took a computer practice test, and I'm feeling a bit better about the GRE. I'll take the other computer practice test tomorrow. Hopefully it will also prove reassuring.

I didn't do that great in math, as expected, but I completed all the questions with time to spare, which is good. Nothing will help me in math, but whatevs. It doesn't really matter.

I did about as expected in verbal; 25/30 correct. I still want to do better, though. I really, really want to get all of the questions right. I just need to take more time with my answers. I am a habitually fast test-taker. If I can't figure out a question within a few seconds, I guess and move on, which is stupid, especially with verbal questions.

My vocabulary learning has gone well and proven fruitful! Yay!

I am now FAR more concerned about my midterms on Monday than I am about my GRE.

Primate skeletal biology won't be too bad. I just need to remember the articles, and I'll be fine. I'll kick the lab portion's ass. I already know all the bones, I know the features he went over in class, and I know the differences between Cercopithecoids and Hominoids. Yeah, fuck your prominent olecranon processes, cercs! HUMANS HAVE DEEPER PATELLAR GROOVES! WOOOOH!

OH, WHAT'S THAT, OLD WORLD MONKEYS? YOU HAVE MORE LUMBAR VERTEBRAE? OH, WELL YOU CAN SUCK ON MY DORSALLY PLACED SCAPULAE! TRY TO LIFT YOUR FORELIMBS OVER YOUR HEADS, MONKEYS. I DARE YOU.

I am a freak. :c

Bzz.

2009-11-14T06:56:27Z

Been writin' some songs. Very, VERY excited about a concept album I'm constructing! The opening song is very pretty: a love song for a city. It's reprised later as a love song for a person. I am so mushy. Oh well.

Monday:

Cultural Anthropology midterm (50 min)
Primate Skeletal Biology midterm (150 min)

Tuesday:

GRE (three-four hours. aghhhh.)

Wednesday:

class
packing, cleaning

Thursday:

Nutrition and Anthropology quiz
class and lab
C.V. for Michaela

Friday:

flight at 8 am
shopping with Mom in downtown Chicago!
dinner with Nick's family

Wow. I am a busy bee. Bzz.

Belly Button!

2009-11-07T23:57:01Z

Yay!

apple_ophelia @ 2009-11-06T14:58:00

2009-11-06T22:01:57Z

those midnight calls
mixed with adderall
are engraved in your fingertips

oh, don't come home

*hums and sways*

I am writing a new song today because the GRE SUCKS!

apple_ophelia @ 2009-11-03T12:18:00

2009-11-03T19:21:34Z

GRE Breakdown:

Writing: Yes!
Reading Comprehension: Yes!
Vocabulary: Yes!
Math: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I AM SO SCREWED.

apple_ophelia @ 2009-11-01T19:18:00

2009-11-02T02:27:25Z

Alas, my love, ye do me wrong
to cast me off discourteously
And I have loved you for so long
delighting in thy company

When I was little, "Greensleeves" and "Star of the County Down" were my favorite songs.

And from Bantry Bay up to Derry Quay
and from Galway to Dublin town
no maid I've seen like the sweet colleen
I met in the County Down

apple_ophelia @ 2009-10-29T08:27:00

2009-10-29T14:31:02Z

So I've found a title for my collection of short stories:

the Bodies Under the Boards

Yay for Alexandria.

apple_ophelia @ 2009-10-26T17:12:00

2009-10-26T23:14:37Z

Man, I really need to know what the next writing challenge is so I can have something to do during Cultural Anthropology.

DAMMIT.

apple_ophelia @ 2009-10-24T12:05:00

2009-10-24T18:16:31Z

Hmm, what to do today...

some kind of shopping, though I probably won't buy anything (I do this a lot. I just like wandering around shops.)

start a new knitting project (I finished Nick's scarf, and not having a project is freaking me out.)

cram like fuck for the GRE (ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)

It'll be a good day!

Maybe I'll even work on Cormac a little bit. I like the timeframe of Lent, so I think I will end up using it, after all. Though I won't be as strict about it as I was with Seedeaters: one chapter for one day. That deteriorated quickly. Bleh. Maybe I'll write some flashbacks, lol. I love writing me some flashbacks.

"I was ordained bleeding from the mouth."

vs.

"My life began, as many do, with a suicide." (not a real suicide)

I have no idea which way to go with this one.

Really?

2009-10-21T04:12:08Z

Dear Lazy Group to which I was assigned:

I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR INEPTITUDE. Do not send frantic e-mails to our TA, complaining that "that girl" was supposed to send you an e-mail specifying the time/location for the group meeting. We organized it IN CLASS LAST WEEK. You were sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME. You were TEXTING. It is your own fault for being STUPID. I am not sorry I didn't send out the e-mail because NO ONE ELSE HAD THIS PROBLEM AND YOU ARE AN IDIOT.

love and kisses,

that girl

Two-Headed Boy is first up

2009-10-06T03:03:17Z

Tonight is a Sad Song Sing-Along in my room tonight!!

Way more fun than it sounds.

I am supposed to be reading about the effects of vitamin A supplements in pregnant women in Nepal.

but this is cooler and less productive

Next up: "Goddamn Blue Yodel #7"

everybody now!

apple_ophelia @ 2009-10-03T00:08:00

2009-10-03T06:10:15Z

our Lord came to sweet Mary Magdalene
when she hid her heart away
our Lord came to sweet Mary Magdalene
hallelujah!
hallelujah!

Art tiem naow

2009-09-30T07:03:41Z

I'm practically a parody of myself.

2009-09-30T04:19:30Z

Feeling limited.

I can't make my brain work the way I want it to work.

I can experience the passion and exhilaration of people through their work, but I can't manifest those things in my own work.

Everything I create is so contrived. It's so deliberate and forced. I wish I could just write something good. I don't know how.

Maybe I could be talented, but I just don't know what to do, so I'm not. I don't know how I keep convincing myself I can do this, but I do. I guess I'll just keep doing it until I really, ultimately, decidedly fail. Even then, maybe I'm stupid and deluded enough to keep going.

This is how things are.

WHINE WHINE WHINE. lol

apple_ophelia @ 2009-09-27T03:19:00

2009-09-27T09:20:29Z

The internet never sleeps!

And now neither do I.

apple_ophelia @ 2009-09-22T00:31:00

2009-09-22T06:33:14Z

Some days, I feel like I just can't write at all.

Take the last ten years, for instance.

apple_ophelia @ 2009-09-20T11:39:00

2009-09-20T17:41:00Z

Eid mubarak! c:

Today may be a day to write.

apple_ophelia @ 2009-09-17T23:18:00

2009-09-18T05:24:43Z

I have too many things in my brain right now. I can't even sort them out enough to write them down.

It's like when I try to make myself write faster, and my hand just seizes up and stops.

Time off will be good for me, I guess.

Today took a week.

Two words I hate:

maybe
someday

Bored at breakfast

2009-09-14T16:28:18Z

Getting ready to graduate. I'm excited and terrified, which seems about right.

Knitting:

Cupcake: done

Hufflepuff Scarf for Nick: almost halfway

Slouch Hat: looks about halfway

Doughnut: pending!

I've been reading more, now that I've finished my English major. No more lists of books. I can just cruise Amazon all day, looking at things I actually want to read.

As my mom said, "stupid college."

Cormac O'Brien! Again! This time for real.

2009-09-01T01:23:39Z

"I was ordained bleeding from the mouth."

"Darlin', oh, I need a friend.
And I laid low,
and you came on in."
Slim Cessna's Auto Club

"You better get yourself together soon."
M. Ward

"Domine, ad adjuvandum me festina."

"I am listening to hear where you are."
Neutral Milk Hotel

"I am trouble,
and I am trouble, too."
Patrick Wolf

"I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I'll laugh my whole way through
the hurricanes and fire."
Cloud Cult

"Tell me the season's almost over.
I can wait."
Laura Gibson

"I know it's hard to see me, darlin'.
Let your eyes adjust.
If you go blind, just trust
you were made out of my dust.
I was made out of your dust.
And the wind will carry us."
Page France

"I haven't risen yet."
Ferdiad

apple_ophelia @ 2009-08-30T15:14:00

2009-08-30T21:15:17Z

This is so cute:

http://www.oksugar.com/view_image.asp?image_id=292&bk=category_id%3D2&cn=Wedding+Cakes